Idea: Bring Brian flowers to school. Its a present for our 4 month. Hand pick them.

Result: He will be forced to carry them around with him all day and, in turn, show the entire world that he is taken ... including those girls in his Spanish and Botany classes.

I take everything he does/says so seriously.

He created a new diary and I joked about mentioning me in his "About" page. He seemed game. No, I knew he would never do it. It is for the same unknown reason that he never has mentioned me ... or even love ... in his diary/journal etc. It is hard for me to tell myself that this is just a coincidence and that he just writes about different things than I do.

I tell it to myself often. See Brian, I am trying so hard to make this work.

If I can't make the yucky go away inside of me by this weekend then I am going to tell him what I did, tell him that I can't live with knowing this and end our relationship. It will be hard to do, but I think its what's best for both of us.

I don't want to talk to him on the phone tonight unless it is a conversation that is making me feel better, not worse.

Andrea