1. Charlie
2. Brian
3. Christopher

Things with Chris are not at a close, just a standstill, or as sill as one can stand while completely imbalanced.

Things with Brian are over, permanently, in more ways than romance. I was irresponsible, and he no longer wants to be in my life.

Things with Charlie are wonderful. He is, from a distance, one of my favorite people in this world. I don't know if I could be part of his daily life and not start rolling my eyes at him constantly, but I think he is living in a world totally of his own, and that is beautiful.

On his facebook profile (it is a national college directory of names, pictures and information online) he writes this next to "About Me":

As you read this, do not get me wrong. I like to have fun, share intimate experiences with my closest friends and loved ones, and feel good about life. But, like many in my situation, I am a confused twenty year old.

My mind has a will to bring first order, then understanding to this chaotic universe. I am afraid of what I may soon find but I am addicted to the pursuit of truth. No brakes! In the meantime, my friends tell me gloomy portents, dreamy abstractions, or that I am nuts to help make sense of my condition. I care for people (but not always what they do.) That is why I am an aspiring ethicist (or perhaps law.) I want to improve and merge existing symbioses in the world and ideally encourage fellowship for the race of self-aware beings. Most of my life will be spent working to improve existing symbiotic relationships but I will keep my eye out for any massive movement towards societal merging (e.g. rights declarations.) I am also attempting to live out my dream of a perfect duality with someone. I think it's going well! The person I have found seems to have a similar interest in a dual, interdependent relationship (one type of symbiosis.) As you can tell, I see beauty in harmonious exchange. We may not be able to do it on a global scale today or in my lifetime but I want to at least feel it with the one I love. There is no room for a mere individual in a symbiosis. We all as individuals contribute to the whole and feel both pride in the good work we do but safe in the care of our fellow symbionts. That's the sort of structure I seek with my mate. The reader of this might notice that I did not indicate whether I am interested in men or women. That is because Facebook races to a false dilemma. I am not interested in the male gender nor the female gender. I am interested in one person only with little regard to her gender.

After reading all of that, I encourage you to think about how you might respond to me about this. Do you fall in one of my three categories aforementioned (e.g. you think I am nuts)? Or do I need to add a category? Let me know what you think! Be well my friend ~ Charlie

THIS IS AMAZING. Most people write "I like apples" here, not their ENTIRE life constitution of sorts. So, yes, I have no real point here other than that I think I am no less crazy than my dear friend Charlie. We all have our crazy things... mine is this silly love pursuit.... and while I want to fall more in love with intellectualism and knowledge, nothing is going to change how often I think about Chris.

So, before doing my homework yesterday, I wrote him a Valentine's Day card.

And, also, I resent placing him on the same list as Brian and Charlie. I too often compared Brian to Charlie during our relationship, which was totally wrong. I haven't yet compared Chris to anything, except, of course, my wildest most wonderful dreams.