Last night, I was missing him while listening to some song we once listened to together, and I thought, "I wonder if he is missing me." And I thought about what it would feel like to miss me, and all the little things he could miss about me, and I started to feel very bad for him. I am so terrible to have cut off all communication like this.

Oh, wait.

He cut off all communication with me. He is the one who failed valentines day test. He is the one who stopped responding mid-IM conversation. He is the one who never wished me a happy birthday, or sent me a letter since I got to Germany (I have sent him 3) or who has expressed any signs of affection since I last saw him.

I had to realize that He Doesn't Miss Me. That it was his choice to let me go. And then I began to feel even worse. I couldn't think of a single thing that he would miss about me anymore. In fact, even I want to stop hanging out with me now. If your favorite person in the entire world doesn't want to be with you, how can you be content with yourself?

I am so broken now, in every way invisible.